People in my practice frequently describe a young girl, from ages say five to ten years old, who keeps appearing in their dreams. They are typically mystified by this. It is especially disturbing to fully heterosexual men when they dream of kissing them or having even closer intimacy.
Welcome to the Divine Child archetype. It is usually a girl because women tend to go more with emotional parts of your mind. (At the first level, each character represents a part of your psyche.) The Divine Child is usually a young girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. The reason for this is that those physical features are the stereotypical ideal feminine features in Western culture.
Other cultures may have different idealized features. For example, Hispanic cultures tend to idealize dark hair with brown eyes.
Sex in dreams at the first level represents different parts of your mind integrating. Kissing or being intimate with the Divine Child, in this case, represents integrating your hopes/dreams into your life with your behavior, actions and emotions. The younger the Divine Child in the dream, the less developed is a particular hope or dream that you have.
“I had another one where a large tornado was in front of me, but this was an unusual tornado, because it had lightning inside of it and a large glowing orb on top of it. Which was where the lightning was coming from. It seemed like a quick dream, but it was the only one I could remember from that night.”
Tornadoes are a powerful natural force which like sex/relationships can sweep you off your feet and dramatically change your life. Lightning is a powerful natural force that implies instant electric change (lightning being electrified fire if you will). Circles are associated with the soul because they have no beginning and no end.
Orbs are circular light and there is a kind of spirituality or awe associated with them as in “I see the light.” This dream is either recognizing or predicting instant natural change from natural forces or relationships that disrupts your homeostasis and gives you a sense of almost spiritual awe.
Dream 396: Could it be something related to Libido?
A man reported the following dream:
There’s a hole in my trouser leg with a ball of hair sticking out. I start to pull it out, but there’s no end to it. Must be 2 foot long eventually, and then I pull out a sock?! I’m wondering how all that hair and mess got in my trousers?!
Legs are what support us and get us where we need to go. Clothes are representative of psychological defenses. Clothes are what we show to the outside world.
If it were my dream, I would say that probably a hole in your support system so that you run into hairy situations when trying to advance yourself in life.
The thing that stands out is that the hair is in an unusual place, for a large amount of hair to be in trousers. We would not think that it would not impede motion as much as it would just be annoying.
The sock is something that we frequently lose when doing the wash–it was once part of a pair of socks. Hair is often associated with virility or sexual attraction as it is part of what we want to look good to partners.
I wonder if you have been annoyed by impediments to your progress in life caused by losing protection (a sock) in moving forward maybe because of the loss of a relationship (the sock is no longer paired)?
To go overboard even more, I wonder if you lost a relationship in the process of trying to express your libido/virility.
The following was written by Father Augustine and may represent the Catholic Church’s stance on dreams:
“The Nature of Dreams A dream is an illusory psychic activity, particularly of a visual nature that occurs during sleep. It is essentially a psychological phenomenon with many philosophical, religious and moral implications.
Scientific findings on dreams have shown them to involve perception, creative and reproductive imagination, association of ideas and images, memory and emotion. Thinking and reasoning may also occur in dreams but on a superficial and uncritical level (this is important in relation to the moral relevance of what one does in the midst of a dream). At times one is aware of a type of “choosing” within dreams — such as resistance to temptation; however, such “willed acts” do not stem from a free decision-making ability but rather from behavioral habits and automatic responses.
The critical powers of the mind such as reality testing and decision making are greatly impaired in dreaming, which accounts for the incoherent and chaotic nature of many dreams. In a dream the distinction between reality and imagination is totally lost or at least impaired. Dreams can be natural or supernatural.
If they are supernatural then their origin lies in God, angels or demons. Dreams can also be induced by hypnosis. What causes dreams can seldom be traced to one well defined external or internal stimulus. Rather, they are brought about my many interacting factors of a perceptual, emotional, motivational and physiological nature.
Dreaming occurs in cycles following the fluctuation of sleep stages. It appears when the dreamer emerges from the stage of deep sleep. In an average night’s sleep a person dreams from 1 to 2 hours with dreams distributed in three to five periods, lasting from 20 to 30 minutes, and each sleep period followed at intervals of about 90 minutes.
Dreams are primarily made up of visual imagery. Most of the images are black and white. The content of dreams is usually very personal and intimate, and has to do with one’s attitudes toward oneself and toward important people in one’s environment.
In terms of emotional content, dreams range from ecstatic fantasies to nightmares. There is a preponderance of unpleasant dreams caused by fear, anger or sadness. Dreams of sex and aggression are quite frequent.”
My views do not conflict with the Catholic Church; however, I do take a more expanded view of dreams which I think is acceptable to nearly every religion. I also like Buddhists’ view of reality and dreams.
The great Rumi shows his profound understanding of life:
“THE DREAM THAT MUST BE INTERPRETED
This place is a dream.
Only a sleeper considers it real.
Then death comes like dawn,
and you wake up laughing
at what you thought was your grief.
But there’s a difference with this dream.
Everything cruel and unconscious
done in the illusion of the present world,
all that does not fade away at the death-waking.
and it must be interpreted.
All the mean laughing,
all the quick, sexual wanting,
those torn coats of Joseph,
they change into powerful wolves
that you must face.
The retaliation that sometimes comes now,
the swift, payback hit,
is just a boy’s game
to what the other will be.
You know about circumcision here.
It’s full castration there!
And this groggy time we live,
this is what it’s like:
A man goes to sleep in the town where he has always lived
and he dreams he’s living in another town.
In the dream, he doesn’t remember
the town he’s sleeping in his bed in. He believes
the reality of the dream town.
The world is that kind of sleep.
The dust of many crumbled cities
settles over us like a forgetful doze,
but we are older than those cities.
We began as a mineral.
We emerged into plant life
and into the animal state, and then into being human,
and always we have forgotten our former states,
except in early spring when we slightly recall
being green again.
That’s how a young person turns
toward a teacher. That’s how a baby leans
toward the breast, without knowing the secret
of its desire, yet turning instinctively.
Humankind is being led along an evolving course,
through this migration of intelligences,
and though we seem to be sleeping,
there is an inner wakefulness
that directs the dream,
and that will eventually startle us back
to the truth of who we are.”
“I was in a library and the feeling of awe because of all the books and knowledge that are in them. I wanted to get a new book for new knowledge and couldn’t wait but then I spotted this gorgeous man. He was alluring. He had tan skin and long dark hair. He reminded me of my boyfriend from age 19 who was a Victorias Secret model. He was younger as well. The man looks back and our eyes connect and he notices me too.
I see he is talking to a woman. He’s smiling and quite friendly with her. We end up talking a bit with tons of flirting. He tells me to meet him upstairs where we can be alone for sex. While slipping out of the library I see him flirt with other women and they want him. I did not like the way he was so flirtatious to the other women but said to myself he still chose me.
I walk out of the library and to my surprise I am in a huge building. The walls are shiny gold. The ceilings are high. There is a stairwell that has marble stairs and shiny gold guardrails going up. I go up the stairs and find its an attic. When I walk in its nothing like where I came from. It’s dark, only one window and a humongous blow up matress. Dark wooden beams were on the ceiling for support in an angle. There on the mattress was the man completely naked and ready. I was very upset. I thought I was worth at least some sweet talk and romance.
He convinced me to sit by him but tried to just go for it. I kissed him but was hesitant. Then one of the workers came in and said we couldn’t be there so we had to leave aa if we were caught. He said to meet him later somewhere else. I said ok.
I went down and had to find the way out. I walked through this huge building and ran into what was a casino I believe. It had the machines with gold knobs on them. I thought how odd a casino was in there. I walked in for a minute but couldn’t walk through because I can’t stand the energy of casinos and people gambling.
I searched for another way out but couldn’t find one. I ended up walking through the casino and finally getting out. Exhausting.
Some friends pick me up and we drive around town for a bit. I keep thinking I told this man I’d meet him and didn’t think I wanted to. Hours later we ended up at some storage units where I was suppose to meet him.
I had given him my word so I was thinking I’d tell him I changed my mind but really I didn’t want to deal with it at all. But I kept going back and forth because he was so good looking, lol. I finally thought to myself that I was worth more than sex at a storage unit, how he had flirted with other women and it didn’t make me special that he chose me but probably gullible instead. Also that I wasn’t even worth some romance with the two places he had picked. I told myself no way, I didnt care how good looking he was bc this now made him ugly. I left knowing he’d be stood up. I woke.
I want to approach this dream from the point of view of each character in the dream being part of your mind.Men usually go more with actions and women going more with emotions usually.
The dream starts out in the library. Usually the way a dream starts out usually tells us what it’s going to be about. Right off the bat the dream is emphasizing learning and knowledge and you were flirting with the idea of gaining more knowledge. Having sex in a dream is a sign of integration. But this integration never really happens in this dream. The problem is that the man isn’t worth integrating with. He is a trickster, manipulator who does not have your best interest at heart.
This dream is a major caution against going after what looks good. The first place he wants to have sex with you is in a high place in an attic. A building frequently can correspond with the dreamer to some extent in which case this is talking about your mind and your higher ideals probably.
You are caught in the attic and asked to leave because there are other parts of yourself that do not want you to lower your standards.
Going to the casino is interesting. I think the dream is screaming that you don’t want to gamble yourself on shallow circumstances.
Being asked to have sex in storage units is not only doubling down on it being dingy and the lowering of your self esteem, but I think the dream is expressly saying it wants you to put this memory in storage, they want you to remember this lesson and not compromising yourself excessively.
All in all, the dream is emphasizing deepening yourself through learning and knowledge and warning you about rationalizing yourself into compromising situations. It is explicitly warning you about being lured by what looks good rather than gaining knowledge (the library).
“I dreamed the other night that I helped two guys who became infatuated with me. (This actually happens to me a lot in life.) There were two other guys there that were my friends in the dream and they looked at me like I knew better and why did I help further knowing better. I signaled back “I know, I know”. We didn’t need words because they were my intuition side. I got rid of the infatuated boys and became incredibly attracted to the intuitive ones. We had very intimate sex. I then ended up at a hospital to help deliver a baby with them and after got to see all the new-born babies in the hospital.”
This would be seen as your integrating intuitive action parts of yourself. Sex between a man and a woman is usually seen as integration of actions (men) and emotions (women) as each character is a part of the dreamer’s psyche.
The first part of the dream where you are involved with two nerdy men basically is asking the question, “Why are you wasting your time with them or with those aspects of your life?”
Sex usually represents integration with the different part of yourself that you are having sex with. Integrating the different intuitive aspects leads to a whole new part of your psyche, the new baby. The thought would be since the dreamer was a female having sex with two intuitive men, that she was integrating two intuitive action parts of her mind.
This integration could be stimulated by any of several different actions. Such actions would include discussion with other intuitive people (probably men in this case or it could be the action parts of women’s minds). Watching intuitive movies, honing intuitive skills, psychic abilities, reading new age books and out-of-body travel would be examples of intuitive actions. A strong spirituality is probable.
Dream Question 370: A female dreamer asked: What does it mean if you dream that you have sex with someone almost identical to yourself?
Sex at the first level usually means integration especially if it was good consensual sex. If you have a dream where you are having sex with someone who is identical to yourself, how the act was performed would make substantial difference in my world.
Let’s say the act was very loving, then the dream would be signaling that you were integrating love into yourself. If the act was aggressive but none the less satisfying, the dream would be signaling either that you have integrated some aggressive impulses into your personality, or the dream maybe advising for some reason that you integrate some aggression more into your personality. This isn’t necessarily bad, because it’s aggression that gives us the get up and go to accomplish things. It just has to be controlled by other parts of the personality.
The more intimate the sexual act, the more integrated it is. Having sex with an identical self is rather awesome in a way because it is saying that you really don’t need any other person other than yourself. Women usually represent an emotional part of the dreamer, and since the dreamer was a woman, the emphasis is on emotional integration. If the dreamer were a man, the dream would be emphasizing integrating his actions since men tend to go more with action parts of the mind.
“Twice within a month I have dreamed of large tomatoes… (I’m saying bigger than your head large).
Also last night I dreamed of a black horse that was bleeding,I tried tending to the wounds. It was dark and I was in the woods.”
She later indicated that the horse ran away in the dream.
Food represents support, psychological support or emotional support in a dream.
The tomatoes are large maybe because the dreamer wanted some juicy and nurturing psychological support for which she probably was longing.
At the first level of dream interpretation, a person or animal or spirits usually represents different parts of your mind . Horses often represent female sexual power or energy, literally they are “horsepower.”
The horse being black indicates that this horse may represent the shadow side of sexuality. That part of the dreamer’s world has been hurt deeply and she was trying to repair it and get her instincts back in line. She probably wants to run away from the deep issues of shadow sexuality that this dream may represent.
Like the horse in the dream, she was probably hurt, restless, and running around trying to find her way. Her trying to help the horse in the dream indicates that she probably needed emotional healing.
Dream 293:A 32-year-old woman dreamt that she was an enchilada in a pan with other enchiladas on both sides of her. She was suffocatingly hot. She was so hot that she actually woke up to find her cat and her husband on each side of her.
This dream was true on both the physical and emotional levels of dream interpretation. She woke up because she was physically hot as the heat was turned up in her house and she was between the bodies of her cat and husband. Many people interpreting dreams would stop with the physical interpretation. That is most often a mistake.
While the physical interpretation is certainly true, the emotional interpretation of this dream was also accurate. She was a very nurturing person to her family which is why she appears as food in the dream. Food is psychological nurture in dreams. She admitted that she was “hot” in the sense that her husband had not had sex with her for awhile.
In this case the word “hot” took on multiple meanings. She was “hot” in the sense that she was good-looking. She was “hot” because she had not had sex for a while. Finally her anger toward her husband was a “hot” emotion. To disregard the psychological meaning of this dream would have missed a lot.
Dreams 289: A man in his early forties dreamed that he was talking to some girls when he was in high school in New York. It was very casual and relaxed conversation in a restaurant located at the top of a mansion. When he left, he found himself at the top of stairs on a landing where there was a stairway to his right and there was a stairway to his left.
He went down the left stairway and knew somehow that he had to use a phone. He then went down the right stairway and found a woman that looked like his wife. She was pretty and looked like his wife. He thought she looked depressed as she was leaning forward on her arms with her forearms resting on the table. He then saw the girls he was talking to earlier pass by in the distance.
This dream is all about communication with his wife. Stairs invariably represent sex because it is a rhthymic activity that ends in a climax. The left tends to be associated in ancient India with subconscious emotions, while the right usually represents conscious activity. The dream is emphasizing the importance of communication in their sex life.
Restaurants are where people are physically and psychologically nourished. The dream is saying that there was something about the way he communicated with those girls in New York that would be useful in his marriage, that there was something about that type of communication that would be especially nourishing in his marriage.
Movement in this dream is down stairways because their sex life was a “downer.” Movement down the left involves emotion. A phone is at the bottom of this stairway to emphasize the importance of communication.
The right is associated with conscious action. In this case, his depressed wife at the bottom of these stairs represented disappointment over the lack of sexual action, intimacy, in his marriage. The dream ends by recommending interaction with his wife like he had with the New York girls that pass in the distance.
Dream 272: Nostalgic for Lust Emotions A 60-year-old man dreamed of an image of a woman who was a combination of two women he had sex with in his early twenties. One woman was an Olympic gymnast who he never really got over. The other was a twenty-something woman who he later discovered was married and used him for sex because her husband was physically disabled. In the dream, he saw himself trying to please this vibrant woman. He had the feeling in the dream, that no matter how hard he tried, the beautiful woman would not approve of him. He felt frustrated and downcast.
Interpretation He recently felt depressed over getting older. He totally appreciated his loving wife, but was no longer able to do what he could do physically and sexually as a young man. At the first level of dream interpretation, women usually represent the dreamer’s emotions, while men (himself) represent an action part of his mind. The dream spoke to the heart of his depression. He was nostalgic for the emotional complexity and physical lust of his relationships as a young adult. That those days were gone was the source of chronic depression. He knew he was lucky to have a loving wife and would never hurt her. He was facing the challenge of old age. He wanted to find other ways to reinvigorate his life without losing what he had gained.
This book shows how an experienced psychologist developed an intuitive dream interpretation method.
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Steven G. Fox, Ph.D. Is the author of “Dreams: Guide to the Soul”
I am finishing my personal story and sojourn to health by putting MS into remission with the help of the universe/God. It will be my second book showing that dreams were an important part of that journey. My personal psychology enters into the picture a lot. I basically see years of physical abuse as laying the foundation for having the foundation for contracting the chronic illness of multiple sclerosis. Amazon will publish it first as an ebook. The name of the book will be something like MS Mission Remission: Healing Severe Chronic Multiple Sclerosis Against All Odds.
Dream Symbolism 350: I have always wondered about the symbolism of “Holy Communion.” Followers literally talk about symbolically eating the body and drinking the blood of the avatar. I’ve come to some understanding of this phenomenon through dreams.
Dreams use primary process thinking. It consists of very raw, primitive and unfiltered drives. As Freud maintained, sex and aggression are important drives. This is a limited view which includes only the most basic drives.
Jung recognized added drives such as social desires and self actualization needs that dreams expressed. A big part of fulfilling these needs is the want to improve one’s character.
Eating in dreams is usually one of two main metaphors:
(1) Eating in a restaurant, at home, at work or a pleasant scene usually is talking about how one is psychologically nurtured in that particular part of his or her life. The setting and who one is eating with has much to say about how the dreamer is supported / nurtured in a particular situation or with a certain person .
(2) Especially when one is eating something unusual or symbolic, the dream is usually indicating the dreamer is trying to merge certain qualities into his psyche. For example, a person taking Holy Communion in a ceremony is trying to join the holy and good qualities of the avatar being worshipped. These ceremonies are joyfully celebrating the idea that one is incorporating the holiness of the divine into themselves.
In the case of unusual items, the dreamer eating clay mugs may symbolize that the person wants to contain their emotions more. Mugs contain liquids that we are drinking. Liquids, and especially water, usually represent emotion. At the most basic level, a mug contains water and puts limits on the water so that one can handle it properly and ingest it. What the dream is saying is that the person wants to properly contain and deal with their emotions within themselves.
A 19-year-old coed dreamt that she was going from bar to bar and was socializing. She returned to the dorm with a small pony that followed her wherever she went. The pony insisted upon standing on the bed with all four feet and would not lie down which made it virtually impossible to sleep.
No matter what she did, the horse would not lie down and go to sleep. She then realized that horses can sleep standing up. When she went to college the next day, she saw government officials and police coming out of the Admissions Office who proceeded to run after her.
The first question I asked her was whether she was partying too much with which she agreed. Horses represent female sexual power. She wanted to study but was engulfed by all the attention she was receiving from men.
Her late night activities made it difficult to get any sleep. She could not get enough attention and went out night after night (thus, that horse would never lie down). She gave herself some vague hope that she could both rest and carouse around (the horse sleeping while standing idea). She was in danger of losing her academic scholarship and was worried (represented by the police pouring out of a college building).
A 20-year-old woman dreamt that she was in the hospital after recently giving birth to a baby girl. She dreamt that her attractive and social girlfriend was now giving birth to a baby boy. She previously had gone on double dates with this friend. The dream shifted to her driving to a barn located near a highway. The barn was brown. It had three horses within it. She went and took care of the horses. She later returned to the hospital where her friend was. She wondered if she closed the gate.
The dream started out the scene with a hospital which implies that some healing needs to take place. In reality, the dreamer recently gave birth to a baby girl. Her remembering this during the dream was juxtaposing her role as a mother with her role as a woman. She was being told that a new action part of herself (the baby boy) was being born in relation to her being a heterosexual woman because the baby boy’s mother was associated with her femininity.
The brown barn represents earthiness and being grounded, especially because it was brown. Horses often represent female sexual power. The number three indicated that some change in her definition of herself as a woman was taking place. That there were three horses emphasized the strength of her feminine powers (horsepower). When she tended her instinctive sexuality, she had to do so alone, without her child. She wondered if she had let her desires run wild because she worried about closing the gate after the horses had already left the barn.
Dream 201: A Giraffe Is a Better Phallic Symbol Than a Sock Puppet
A 46-year-old woman dreamt that she was watching a staged reading. The dreamer was in the audience. On stage was the author of a book about a huge giraffe. She was a little girl who was about eight years old. The book was being read by a muscular and handsome man. A woman in the crowd shouted an objection to the reading when there was nothing objectionable going on. The dreamer thought to herself that the objector needed to get a life. It was somehow hoped that a giraffe would emerge from back stage at that moment. Instead, a disappointing sock puppet made a limp appearance.
She then saw the same little girl in a kitchen making a large multi-layered wedding cake. A band of little girls wanted to carry the cake to its destination. The dreamer intervened because she thought the woman herself should carry the cake because she thought the children would be careless. The woman dropped and ruined the cake by trying to carry it by herself.
Dream 201 Interpretation
This dream opens by using the Divine Child and the Heroic Masculine to stage what the dreamer wants sexually. We know this because the giraffe is a potent phallic symbol of sexual and animal instinct. The heroic masculine would be expected to provide what she wants.
There is a part of her that objects, while another part of her realizes that she must get on with life. After the objection, we are given the consequences of her current attitude toward sex. Instead of the highly visible and phallic giraffe, her husband’s response to her objection was more similar to the limp sock puppet.
The second part of the dream is about integration. A wedding is a prime symbol of integration because it is the symbolic union of the masculine (actions) with the feminine (emotions). The little girls are relatively new emotions that would help her. The dreamer’s problem is that she wants no help because she does not trust these new emotional ways of doing things.
As a little girl, she was raised by a promiscuous mother who was physically abusive toward her. The dreamer promised herself that she would never have children or be like her mother sexually. As her husband was getting older, he reminded her more of her father who was distant from her as a child. Her husband thus received unwanted transference from her parents. Subconscious memories of her parents resulted in reinforcing the aversion she felt toward sex as a child because of her mother’s promiscuous behavior.
She decided that she needed to take a more active role in their married sex life. She avoided snuggling with her husband even though he craved this contact. She decided that she would engage in more snuggling. She also decided that she needed help to get in the mood, i.e., after they snuggled she was going to ask what type of sex they had. She was dissatisfied in the past and was reluctant to say anything to her husband. Their sex life improved.
A 36-year-old man dreamed he was meeting with his Tai Chi Master. The Master was exalting the dreamer to live by the precepts of Tai Chi. This philosophy emphasized measured thinking before taking action.
The dreamer heard an overriding voice that urged him to “Stay Here!” The dreamer ignored the voice and went off with a prostitute. He was making out with the woman when he looked to his left and saw his new live-in girlfriend. The girlfriend was looking at him like she depended on him for everything. She had also gained 200 pounds.
He had serial disaster relationships where the woman he was involved with depended upon him for everything. He was trying to take it slower with his new live-in girlfriend. The Tai Chi Master represented the shift in his actions in relationships toward deliberate and thought out movement.
His lust with the prostitute represented his tendency to become overindulging with women he was sexually involved. That the girlfriend becomes an obese giant while he is making out with the prostitute reflected his indulging dependence within himself and within the relationship. The relationships in the past depended excessively upon upon himself which he expected back then.
The suggestion of this dream was that he needed to stay with deliberate and thought out actions in relationships to prevent creating an overly dependent glutton within himself and within relationships.