Dream 493: Don’t ever be in a relationship like that again
A woman asked me what it might mean that she had a dream that she killed her ex-boyfriend?
At the first level of dream interpretation, each living thing in a dream represents a part of the dreamer’s mind. Men tend to go with actions, women tend to go with emotions; not absolutely so, but it usually falls out that way.
In the dream, your ex-boyfriend would represent the part of your mind that had to deal with your ex-boyfriend. The dream is actually saying at least two things. One is that your subconscious definitely does not want you to be in a relationship, in the future, that is similar in any way to the relationship you had with that ex-boyfriend. Secondly, it is emphasizing that it is best for you, that your relationship with that ex-boyfriend is over.
Having a dream like this may indicate that you still have feelings about the damage that relationship did to you. The dream may be putting an exclamation point on the necessity to resolve that relationship in your mind, and put it behind you.
The main thing to be learned from this dream is that it doesn’t want you to return to a past destructive relationship, or to enter into a relationship that is anything similar to it. It probably does not want you to act in any way similar that you acted in this relationship in future relationships. Your emotions or intentions may have been good, but your actions did harm probably.
A woman had a dream that a good friend John that she thought she should like to date, but did not, offered her a Coke after telling her to wake up. She accepted the beverage and felt happy in the dream.
She was distressed because she typically always wanted to date Macho “Bad Boys” who usually ended up not treating her very well. She was mystified that she had this sensitive male friend who she talked to and they had a good relationship, but she never saw him as being interesting as a date. She would typically look through her dreams trying to get information about what kind of man she should date.
The dream was giving her a direct answer. Her subconscious obviously favored her dating someone like John. In the dream, this male friend literally tells her to “wake up.” Further, I do not believe him offering her a Coke soda was without meaning. Liquids such as water and Coke, for that matter, tend to be associated with emotion. Water is virtually always emotion. Coke specifically is an energizing drink that helps you to wake up because it has caffeine in it typically.
The dream was literally telling her to wake up. Why? Because her subconscious was actually telling her that she should consider dating this friend because, as the Coke commercials say, he is “the real thing.”
“I had a dream I was sitting on my bed talking with my ex and I herd a rustling under my bed. Out came a snake with tiger stripes. It bit him in the neck. What could this mean?”
Snakes usually represent change because they shed their skin. The type of snake usually indicates what kind of change it would be. That the snake emerges from under your bed indicates that the dream is probably addressing change in a personal and intimate relationship.
This is an aggressive tiger snake. This could mean that it involves him being aggressive in the relationship and/or it could involve you’re having anger towards him. I believe the dream condenses here and probably both of those statements are true to some degree. I think the dream could be signaling your anger over your ex never changing as well as indicating that he was aggressive in the relationship in his way of interacting with you.
It is likely that it is a dream of desire. You probably, within the relationship, wished that he would change seriously, which he never did. The snake was aggressive because maybe your boyfriend was too aggressive, in his way, and you understandably have anger over that. For what it’s worth, where the snake strikes him suggests he was a pain in the neck.
The dreamer later told me that the interpretation was accurate.
Dream Image 421: Dolphins are a sparkling, pure and playful energy in dreams
Animals usually represent instinctive energy in dreams. Water virtually always represents emotions in dreams, especially subconscious emotions as the ocean is the biggest symbol of the subconscious that we have. When it involves the ocean, the dream usually involves how you are handling or traversing emotional energy in the world which includes your own and energy from the collective subconscious (unconscious).
Dolphins are almost always good news when they appear in dreams. It usually represents the dreamer has an abundance of competent, playful and social energy as dolphins are very interactive with other species and especially with humans. Other than people , they are one of the few species to have sex also for the fun of it.
They have so many human-like qualities that it is not hard to believe, as some evolutionary biologistso have hypothesized, that dolphins may have first evolved from the sea and transitioned to land; however,they then changed direction and returned to the ocean because it was a more favorable environment than land. In the sea, dolphins have few predators other than some misguided humans and some types of sharks.
A dreamer reported an ex girlfriend had a couples dreams of him one night. He wondered about the significance of the sea shell. The former girlfriend’s dream was as follows:
“I kept singing prayers into your ear and kissing your forehead after every one. Every time I did a new orb would appear and I’d have a vision of some place. You were holding sea shells”
” I was little and someone was reading a bedtime story while I gazed out the window into the dark woods when all of a sudden this freaky alien ripped me out of the house and into the woods.”nbsp;
Her singing to you and kissing dreamer’s forehead in the dream would mean that at the first level she’s praying to the action part of herself that loved him which is expressed by her kissing his forehead.
If it were my dream, the orbs would probably represent hopes regarding relationships. Orbs are round and are light and rocks are circular mostly. Circular objects, especially circular objects that are lighted usually represent the soul since the circle has no beginning and it has no end. The dream is suggesting that she’s dealing with soul issues.
If these dreams were together relatively, it seems to be about listening. The dream seems to be saying she has emotional wishes that she prays would come true, but probably really doesn’t listen to them very closely.
I think the above for two reasons, the first one being the seashells. When I was young it was always said that if you held a seashell to your ear you could hear the ocean. The ocean is the biggest symbol of the subconscious that we have. Symbolically, these seashells would represent listening to her subconscious, specifically, the part of her subconscious that dealt with dreamer.
The second reason to suspect it has to do with listening is that when she is read a bedtime story, she is not paying attention and is staring out into the dark woods.
The dream gets savage in emphasizing that she needs to listen and pay attention to her subconscious emotions by having an alien jerk her out of her world.
The following was written by Father Augustine and may represent the Catholic Church’s stance on dreams:
“The Nature of Dreams A dream is an illusory psychic activity, particularly of a visual nature that occurs during sleep. It is essentially a psychological phenomenon with many philosophical, religious and moral implications.
Scientific findings on dreams have shown them to involve perception, creative and reproductive imagination, association of ideas and images, memory and emotion. Thinking and reasoning may also occur in dreams but on a superficial and uncritical level (this is important in relation to the moral relevance of what one does in the midst of a dream). At times one is aware of a type of “choosing” within dreams — such as resistance to temptation; however, such “willed acts” do not stem from a free decision-making ability but rather from behavioral habits and automatic responses.
The critical powers of the mind such as reality testing and decision making are greatly impaired in dreaming, which accounts for the incoherent and chaotic nature of many dreams. In a dream the distinction between reality and imagination is totally lost or at least impaired. Dreams can be natural or supernatural.
If they are supernatural then their origin lies in God, angels or demons. Dreams can also be induced by hypnosis. What causes dreams can seldom be traced to one well defined external or internal stimulus. Rather, they are brought about my many interacting factors of a perceptual, emotional, motivational and physiological nature.
Dreaming occurs in cycles following the fluctuation of sleep stages. It appears when the dreamer emerges from the stage of deep sleep. In an average night’s sleep a person dreams from 1 to 2 hours with dreams distributed in three to five periods, lasting from 20 to 30 minutes, and each sleep period followed at intervals of about 90 minutes.
Dreams are primarily made up of visual imagery. Most of the images are black and white. The content of dreams is usually very personal and intimate, and has to do with one’s attitudes toward oneself and toward important people in one’s environment.
In terms of emotional content, dreams range from ecstatic fantasies to nightmares. There is a preponderance of unpleasant dreams caused by fear, anger or sadness. Dreams of sex and aggression are quite frequent.”
My views do not conflict with the Catholic Church; however, I do take a more expanded view of dreams which I think is acceptable to nearly every religion. I also like Buddhists’ view of reality and dreams.
The great Rumi shows his profound understanding of life:
“THE DREAM THAT MUST BE INTERPRETED
This place is a dream.
Only a sleeper considers it real.
Then death comes like dawn,
and you wake up laughing
at what you thought was your grief.
But there’s a difference with this dream.
Everything cruel and unconscious
done in the illusion of the present world,
all that does not fade away at the death-waking.
and it must be interpreted.
All the mean laughing,
all the quick, sexual wanting,
those torn coats of Joseph,
they change into powerful wolves
that you must face.
The retaliation that sometimes comes now,
the swift, payback hit,
is just a boy’s game
to what the other will be.
You know about circumcision here.
It’s full castration there!
And this groggy time we live,
this is what it’s like:
A man goes to sleep in the town where he has always lived
and he dreams he’s living in another town.
In the dream, he doesn’t remember
the town he’s sleeping in his bed in. He believes
the reality of the dream town.
The world is that kind of sleep.
The dust of many crumbled cities
settles over us like a forgetful doze,
but we are older than those cities.
We began as a mineral.
We emerged into plant life
and into the animal state, and then into being human,
and always we have forgotten our former states,
except in early spring when we slightly recall
being green again.
That’s how a young person turns
toward a teacher. That’s how a baby leans
toward the breast, without knowing the secret
of its desire, yet turning instinctively.
Humankind is being led along an evolving course,
through this migration of intelligences,
and though we seem to be sleeping,
there is an inner wakefulness
that directs the dream,
and that will eventually startle us back
to the truth of who we are.”
“I dreamed I was bleaching my hair then I was going bald from the front to the back.”
Hair is on your head where thinking occurs.
Hair is also usually a part of sexual attraction.
Bleach is a harsh way of cleansing impurities. In fact, the implication is that you go bald from the bleaching of the hair.
Going bald often has something to do with a change in your perception of your self-image. Going bald usually is associated with the dreamer viewing herself too negatively.
Putting this together, it may have something to do with trying to cleanse your mind of impure thoughts probably related to sex, but you are being too harsh with yourself to the point that it is negatively affecting your self-image or ego.
“I was in a library and the feeling of awe because of all the books and knowledge that are in them. I wanted to get a new book for new knowledge and couldn’t wait but then I spotted this gorgeous man. He was alluring. He had tan skin and long dark hair. He reminded me of my boyfriend from age 19 who was a Victorias Secret model. He was younger as well. The man looks back and our eyes connect and he notices me too.
I see he is talking to a woman. He’s smiling and quite friendly with her. We end up talking a bit with tons of flirting. He tells me to meet him upstairs where we can be alone for sex. While slipping out of the library I see him flirt with other women and they want him. I did not like the way he was so flirtatious to the other women but said to myself he still chose me.
I walk out of the library and to my surprise I am in a huge building. The walls are shiny gold. The ceilings are high. There is a stairwell that has marble stairs and shiny gold guardrails going up. I go up the stairs and find its an attic. When I walk in its nothing like where I came from. It’s dark, only one window and a humongous blow up matress. Dark wooden beams were on the ceiling for support in an angle. There on the mattress was the man completely naked and ready. I was very upset. I thought I was worth at least some sweet talk and romance.
He convinced me to sit by him but tried to just go for it. I kissed him but was hesitant. Then one of the workers came in and said we couldn’t be there so we had to leave aa if we were caught. He said to meet him later somewhere else. I said ok.
I went down and had to find the way out. I walked through this huge building and ran into what was a casino I believe. It had the machines with gold knobs on them. I thought how odd a casino was in there. I walked in for a minute but couldn’t walk through because I can’t stand the energy of casinos and people gambling.
I searched for another way out but couldn’t find one. I ended up walking through the casino and finally getting out. Exhausting.
Some friends pick me up and we drive around town for a bit. I keep thinking I told this man I’d meet him and didn’t think I wanted to. Hours later we ended up at some storage units where I was suppose to meet him.
I had given him my word so I was thinking I’d tell him I changed my mind but really I didn’t want to deal with it at all. But I kept going back and forth because he was so good looking, lol. I finally thought to myself that I was worth more than sex at a storage unit, how he had flirted with other women and it didn’t make me special that he chose me but probably gullible instead. Also that I wasn’t even worth some romance with the two places he had picked. I told myself no way, I didnt care how good looking he was bc this now made him ugly. I left knowing he’d be stood up. I woke.
I want to approach this dream from the point of view of each character in the dream being part of your mind.Men usually go more with actions and women going more with emotions usually.
The dream starts out in the library. Usually the way a dream starts out usually tells us what it’s going to be about. Right off the bat the dream is emphasizing learning and knowledge and you were flirting with the idea of gaining more knowledge. Having sex in a dream is a sign of integration. But this integration never really happens in this dream. The problem is that the man isn’t worth integrating with. He is a trickster, manipulator who does not have your best interest at heart.
This dream is a major caution against going after what looks good. The first place he wants to have sex with you is in a high place in an attic. A building frequently can correspond with the dreamer to some extent in which case this is talking about your mind and your higher ideals probably.
You are caught in the attic and asked to leave because there are other parts of yourself that do not want you to lower your standards.
Going to the casino is interesting. I think the dream is screaming that you don’t want to gamble yourself on shallow circumstances.
Being asked to have sex in storage units is not only doubling down on it being dingy and the lowering of your self esteem, but I think the dream is expressly saying it wants you to put this memory in storage, they want you to remember this lesson and not compromising yourself excessively.
All in all, the dream is emphasizing deepening yourself through learning and knowledge and warning you about rationalizing yourself into compromising situations. It is explicitly warning you about being lured by what looks good rather than gaining knowledge (the library).
Dream 375: Permission to Master and Guide My Emotions and Creativity
A woman had the following dream:
“I was talking to my dad asking his permission to bring home a grand piano. He said we have to ask your mom. So,anyway I brought the grand piano in a den that I’ve never seen before nor have I been there.My mom and dad were there and I said to my mom “Can we keep it? The piano matches the mantel, mom, please.” She said, “Okay.” The dream ended there.”
At the first level in a dream, your father represents your father introject which is often the basis of your actions. Your mother introject is usually the foundation of your emotions. So this is a big dream.
A piano, and particularly a grand piano, usually represents creativity and mastery. Music puts us in a certain mood that we control by our selection of music we play so that it can be emotionally related. It may be related to deciding to control your emotions.
In thought emotionally, and in action, you decided on some level to give yourself the means to make beautiful music emotionally or something on that order would be my first idea. And giving yourself permission to do this creative or emotional thing is something that you have decided upon to let yourself do.
“I dreamed the other night that I helped two guys who became infatuated with me. (This actually happens to me a lot in life.) There were two other guys there that were my friends in the dream and they looked at me like I knew better and why did I help further knowing better. I signaled back “I know, I know”. We didn’t need words because they were my intuition side. I got rid of the infatuated boys and became incredibly attracted to the intuitive ones. We had very intimate sex. I then ended up at a hospital to help deliver a baby with them and after got to see all the new-born babies in the hospital.”
This would be seen as your integrating intuitive action parts of yourself. Sex between a man and a woman is usually seen as integration of actions (men) and emotions (women) as each character is a part of the dreamer’s psyche.
The first part of the dream where you are involved with two nerdy men basically is asking the question, “Why are you wasting your time with them or with those aspects of your life?”
Sex usually represents integration with the different part of yourself that you are having sex with. Integrating the different intuitive aspects leads to a whole new part of your psyche, the new baby. The thought would be since the dreamer was a female having sex with two intuitive men, that she was integrating two intuitive action parts of her mind.
This integration could be stimulated by any of several different actions. Such actions would include discussion with other intuitive people (probably men in this case or it could be the action parts of women’s minds). Watching intuitive movies, honing intuitive skills, psychic abilities, reading new age books and out-of-body travel would be examples of intuitive actions. A strong spirituality is probable.
Dream Question 370: A female dreamer asked: What does it mean if you dream that you have sex with someone almost identical to yourself?
Sex at the first level usually means integration especially if it was good consensual sex. If you have a dream where you are having sex with someone who is identical to yourself, how the act was performed would make substantial difference in my world.
Let’s say the act was very loving, then the dream would be signaling that you were integrating love into yourself. If the act was aggressive but none the less satisfying, the dream would be signaling either that you have integrated some aggressive impulses into your personality, or the dream maybe advising for some reason that you integrate some aggression more into your personality. This isn’t necessarily bad, because it’s aggression that gives us the get up and go to accomplish things. It just has to be controlled by other parts of the personality.
The more intimate the sexual act, the more integrated it is. Having sex with an identical self is rather awesome in a way because it is saying that you really don’t need any other person other than yourself. Women usually represent an emotional part of the dreamer, and since the dreamer was a woman, the emphasis is on emotional integration. If the dreamer were a man, the dream would be emphasizing integrating his actions since men tend to go more with action parts of the mind.
“Twice within a month I have dreamed of large tomatoes… (I’m saying bigger than your head large).
Also last night I dreamed of a black horse that was bleeding,I tried tending to the wounds. It was dark and I was in the woods.”
She later indicated that the horse ran away in the dream.
Food represents support, psychological support or emotional support in a dream.
The tomatoes are large maybe because the dreamer wanted some juicy and nurturing psychological support for which she probably was longing.
At the first level of dream interpretation, a person or animal or spirits usually represents different parts of your mind . Horses often represent female sexual power or energy, literally they are “horsepower.”
The horse being black indicates that this horse may represent the shadow side of sexuality. That part of the dreamer’s world has been hurt deeply and she was trying to repair it and get her instincts back in line. She probably wants to run away from the deep issues of shadow sexuality that this dream may represent.
Like the horse in the dream, she was probably hurt, restless, and running around trying to find her way. Her trying to help the horse in the dream indicates that she probably needed emotional healing.
A young adult woman dreamed that she and some acquaintances spent the night in a house. Her work supervisor’s boss was with them. They climbed never-ending stairs that were scary and increasingly narrow.
They arrived in a dark attic. They were exhausted and piled into bed to sleep. She later woke up within the dream and it was light out.
She could now see clearly in the room and was horrified. The room was filthy because it was covered with dirt and dust. She saw a dead mouse on the floor.
She walked to a bathroom. She saw a baby carriage. An overwhelming smell of urine pervaded the atmosphere like what you might smell in a bad nursing home.
She then saw a very large rat sniffing around the baby carriage. She worried about the baby. She started choking because the dust was so thick in the air. The dream ended with her intensely blowing her nose to get rid of the dust buried in her lungs.
This is a classic type of dream. Each character represents a part of the dreamer’s mind at the first level of dream interpretation. Her supervisor’s boss was a part of her that’s in charge of her overall work life, career life, or financial life.
There are several things that Freud said that were uncanny. One of them was that when there are stairways , it usually involves sex because going upstairs is rhythmic activity that ends in a climax.
There are many signs that the dream involved being sexually mistreated in the past. Climbing the stairs was harrowing, confined, and she felt horrified at some point in the dream. Also dust is “old dirt” that implies that the body was violated, i.e., the Biblical injunction that “to dust though shall return.”
The mouse was dead which indicated how it may have affected her instincts back then, i.e. she probably felt small and lifeless.
The baby carriage implied reproduction (sex). Water is almost always emotion in dreams. Urine is water that we no longer need, i.e., negative emotion.
The nursing home implied that this happened a while ago. The supervisor’s boss being involved signaled that it either happened in a work area of her life or was affecting the work area of her life now. At the end of the dream, the dream became dramatic and indicated the dust or “old dirt” was taking the air out of her, i.e., that it was taking the joy out of some area in her life.
Another uncanny image Freud talked about appearing in dreams was a rat, which often involved sexual mistreatment because it is an image of what the perpetrator is. All in all, the dream was implying that there was some sexual mistreatment that occurred in the past that was taking some life or joy out of the work area of her life.
Reaction and Feedback from the Dreamer
“Whoa my mind is blown. I have to ponder over this one for a while…your summary at the end nails it but it’s in such a way I never would ever have thought of it like that! Possibly sex related mistreatment in the way past that has influenced me even now to be getting in the way of something I could do to better myself career wise but hesitate based on the impact and dependence the trauma caused in me.”
A woman dreamed she rode a unicorn through a series of thorn bushes and meet a stranger that offered her help. The unicorn disappeared. There was a direction marker pointing south. A stranger appeared who was covered with oil. The stranger who was anointed with oil offered her the great advice that she herself could fly and did not need the unicorn in order to fly. Then she flew away and woke up.
Animals represent instinctive processes. A horse often represents female sexual power. Men have dreams of horses far less often than women. The unicorn brings the element of magic.
The dream portends that the dreamer’s journey through romantic relationships has been thorny. She had been hurt by galloping through situations that she hoped would magically lead to growth (bushes are plants), but had mostly led to her being hurt (the thorns). It is interesting that the most romantic flower, roses, grow on thorny bushes.
I like the idea of the stranger being sacred advice because he is anointed with oil. Being male, he is likely to be offering advice about future actions rather than it being strictly emotional advice. North is at the top of a map and in my mind would imply flight in this case. It is not a usual symbol, but I believe the emphasis is on not letting things “go south,” i.e., get even more negative, by magically hoping that her instincts would get her to where she wanted to go.
The revelation is that she could take flight, which has spiritual implications of her finding her higher self rather than hoping that following her instincts will magically lead her to higher ground away from thorny situations.
This dream was a gift and was giving specific information. If she was recovering from a relationship, or looking for a relationship, the implication was for her to take time out and focus on her higher self.
Dreams 289: A man in his early forties dreamed that he was talking to some girls when he was in high school in New York. It was very casual and relaxed conversation in a restaurant located at the top of a mansion. When he left, he found himself at the top of stairs on a landing where there was a stairway to his right and there was a stairway to his left.
He went down the left stairway and knew somehow that he had to use a phone. He then went down the right stairway and found a woman that looked like his wife. She was pretty and looked like his wife. He thought she looked depressed as she was leaning forward on her arms with her forearms resting on the table. He then saw the girls he was talking to earlier pass by in the distance.
This dream is all about communication with his wife. Stairs invariably represent sex because it is a rhthymic activity that ends in a climax. The left tends to be associated in ancient India with subconscious emotions, while the right usually represents conscious activity. The dream is emphasizing the importance of communication in their sex life.
Restaurants are where people are physically and psychologically nourished. The dream is saying that there was something about the way he communicated with those girls in New York that would be useful in his marriage, that there was something about that type of communication that would be especially nourishing in his marriage.
Movement in this dream is down stairways because their sex life was a “downer.” Movement down the left involves emotion. A phone is at the bottom of this stairway to emphasize the importance of communication.
The right is associated with conscious action. In this case, his depressed wife at the bottom of these stairs represented disappointment over the lack of sexual action, intimacy, in his marriage. The dream ends by recommending interaction with his wife like he had with the New York girls that pass in the distance.
This book shows how an experienced psychologist developed an intuitive dream interpretation method.
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Steven G. Fox, Ph.D. Is the author of “Dreams: Guide to the Soul”
I am finishing my personal story and sojourn to health by putting MS into remission with the help of the universe/God. It will be my second book showing that dreams were an important part of that journey. My personal psychology enters into the picture a lot. I basically see years of physical abuse as laying the foundation for having the foundation for contracting the chronic illness of multiple sclerosis. Amazon will publish it first as an ebook. The name of the book will be something like MS Mission Remission: Healing Severe Chronic Multiple Sclerosis Against All Odds.
A 19-year-old coed dreamt that she was going from bar to bar and was socializing. She returned to the dorm with a small pony that followed her wherever she went. The pony insisted upon standing on the bed with all four feet and would not lie down which made it virtually impossible to sleep.
No matter what she did, the horse would not lie down and go to sleep. She then realized that horses can sleep standing up. When she went to college the next day, she saw government officials and police coming out of the Admissions Office who proceeded to run after her.
The first question I asked her was whether she was partying too much with which she agreed. Horses represent female sexual power. She wanted to study but was engulfed by all the attention she was receiving from men.
Her late night activities made it difficult to get any sleep. She could not get enough attention and went out night after night (thus, that horse would never lie down). She gave herself some vague hope that she could both rest and carouse around (the horse sleeping while standing idea). She was in danger of losing her academic scholarship and was worried (represented by the police pouring out of a college building).