Category Archives: girlfriend

How does the shadow try to help a dreamer?

SHEVA-WOMAN-SHADOW(2)
Dream 505: Her shadow wants her to be more emotionally independent

A man asked me for interpretation of his girlfriend’s dream:

“My girlfriend had a dream that she was sitting in a living room (not recognizable) and a black figure was sitting across from her. No cape or cloak just like a shadow. He then grabbed her hand and as she went to talk, he put his finger in front of his mouth in a “shh” manner. She got quiet then had another dream running through the woods in fear and this black figure led her into a tree that had a door on it. Then this led to the final of the trilogy. She was once again running from something and there was a “safe room” at the end. I was in this one and trying to get her in safely. I kept waving my hand in a “cmon” manner. The black shadow man told me to go in but wouldn’t let her in. This was all in one night. 3 separate dreams, one figure in all of them seemingly trying to help her but holds her back once she gets to the safe room and tries to get to me in there. Just curious as to what this could mean. We have a few theories but not sure.”

Interpretation

These dreams are 3 stages of a big dream, it sounds like to me. Her shadow is definitely trying to communicate with her to get her to do what she doesn’t want to do and which the shadow believes is necessary for her to grow. They shadow frequently is the therapeutic part of your subconscious that makes you do things you don’t want to do or are denying.

In the 1st stage, this shadow is indicating that what he wants is to show her what she needs to do and not only talk about it. In other words, the shadow wants more than talk. He wants action.

In the 2nd stage of dreams, the shadow shows what the problem is. The problem is that she runs from her problems. A tree is a symbol of integration. Being on the inside of a tree is the dreams indication that the person needs to do much inner work to integrate. That is why the shadow leads her to the inside of a tree, because she is too dependent on others and needs to rely more on her own internal integration of thoughts, feelings and actions.

The 3rd stage to dreams indicates further what the shadow and her dream wants her to do to to function better. She wants to join you as a solution to her problems which could be seen as wanting to be too emotionally dependent upon you. The shadow is holding you back from doing too much emotionally for her that she should be doing for herself. She needs to find safe space within herself instead of running to a loved one’s safe room. This is said without me knowing you or the situation and probably needs considerable modification.

Dreams can help you come out of the shadows at http://www.drstevenfox.com

 

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Can dreams help you make decisions about moving or getting another job?

Being Conservative Is Hard on My Head

A 36-year-old fine arts professor dreamt that he was on the patio of a Mexican restaurant. There was a wasp’s nest above the kidney shaped bar. Suddenly, a wasp flew down and stung him in the head. The dream shifted to him listening to a waittress. She was telling him about a long sordid affair she had with a professor.

Dream Interpretation

This professor recently received job offers from colleges in Ohio and California. WASP also stands for White Anglo Saxon Protestant. I asked him which college was more conservative. He replied that the college in Ohio was much more conservative and he did not know if it would tolerate his avant-garde teaching style and research. I asked him what he associated with Mexican restaurants, and he replied California. I asked him what was the biggest mistake he ever made in his field, and he replied that he regretted a decision not to attend a college in California. That she, the waittress had a sordid affair with a professor indicated that his emotions (the waitress) had been untrue to his intellectual decisions (the male professor)—this was highlighted by the fact that he regretted not going to college in California/

The dream voted in the direction of the college in California. His subconscious exclaimed that a conservative atmosphere was hard on his head and thinking. A restaurant in a dream nurtures one psychologically, and the dream is saying that, for him, California is much more likely to be nurturing.

The female waittress is a part of his work emotions. In dreams, a waittress is often seen as “one who waits.” He told me consciously that his biggest career mistake was not attending a learning institution in California. The waittress is talking about an emotional mistake with a professor. The dream is warning him about making sincere and solid emotional connections. The dream is screaming that he needs to attend a learning institution in California.

Dreams can help you decide at http://www.drstevenfox.com

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What does sex and kissing men on the forehead mean in a dream?

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Dream 413: She should have listened

A dreamer reported an ex girlfriend had a couples dreams of him one night. He wondered about the significance of the sea shell. The former girlfriend’s dream was as follows:

“I kept singing prayers into your ear and kissing your forehead after every one. Every time I did a new orb would appear and I’d have a vision of some place. You were holding sea shells”

” I was little and someone was reading a bedtime story while I gazed out the window into the dark woods when all of a sudden this freaky alien ripped me out of the house and into the woods.”nbsp;

Interpretation

Her singing to you and kissing dreamer’s forehead in the dream would mean that at the first level she’s praying to the action part of herself that loved him which is expressed by her kissing his forehead.

If it were my dream, the orbs would probably represent hopes regarding relationships. Orbs are round and are light and rocks are circular mostly. Circular objects, especially circular objects that are lighted usually represent the soul since the circle has no beginning and it has no end. The dream is suggesting that she’s dealing with soul issues.

If these dreams were together relatively, it seems to be about listening. The dream seems to be saying she has emotional wishes that she prays would come true, but probably really doesn’t listen to them very closely.

I think the above for two reasons, the first one being the seashells. When I was young it was always said that if you held a seashell to your ear you could hear the ocean. The ocean is the biggest symbol of the subconscious that we have. Symbolically, these seashells would represent listening to her subconscious, specifically, the part of her subconscious that dealt with dreamer.

The second reason to suspect it has to do with listening is that when she is read a bedtime story, she is not paying attention and is staring out into the dark woods.

The dream gets savage in emphasizing that she needs to listen and pay attention to her subconscious emotions by having an alien jerk her out of her world.

Pay attention to your dreams at http://www.drstevenfox.com

Playing with Players

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Tackling a Challenge

Dream 393: A coed dreamed that a football player who was a “player” socially (had many affairs with different women at the same time) wanted her to be his girlfriend. She could see his girlfriend in the background. The girlfriend was angry and anxious.

Interpretation

Each living thing in a dream represents a part of the dreamer’s mind. Women usually go with an emotional power of the mind while men tend to go with an action-oriented part of the mind. The football player in the dream represented her wanting to date a player and convert him to being faithful to her.

This conflict had deep psychological roots. She constantly felt the need to prove herself worthy by winning the competition for a popular man or alpha male over other women. This was because she  felt in a one-down position from wealthy and popular women who were her friends. Her family had once been wealthy but fell on hard times.

Her relationships with players invariably ended with her feeling angry and anxious. She was caught in what Freud called a repetition compulsion. She was trying to prove needlessly that she was as good as other women despite being  beautiful and having many positive qualities.

The girlfriend in the dream represented how she ended up feeling pursuing “players.” She invariably ended up feeling angry and anxious. The dream was a warning to stop engaging in this repetitive mistake.

Dreams can help you avoid repeating  mistakes at http://www.drstevenfox.com

 

Why am I constantly dreaming about a girl I loved since I was 12 years old?

Looking for Emotion From the Past
Looking for Emotion From the Past

Dream 385: I Want to Recapture How I Was Emotionally in My First Relationship with a Girl

When I was 12 I fell in love with a girl at first sight(right when I looked in her eyes) , and her dad was the first one to teach me how to kick a soccer ball when I was just 7(I’m really good, could play pro if I want ). She has a lot of reason why I am spiritual and pay attention to my dreams. Problem is when I was in high school, we would fight and I would ignore her and not look at her. We aren’t really on talking terms like we were when I was younger and I don’t follow her on social media.

The reason I bring this up is because she has been in my dreams all the time, and 90% of the time I can’t look at her or talk to her. Other 10% is amazing (dancing, doing things together , kissing etc) but 90% of the time she’ll be in my dream and won’t be able to look at her. I want to look at her and kiss her, but in my dreams I feel like I have subconsciously put it in there that I can’t speak or talk to her.

Just recently I was in my dreams teaching a yoga class with just two other people and she showed up to do the class and while I was doing the yoga poses she was doing them too and we were looking at each other but neither of us could say anything to each other. She was sort of looking at me funny snd i just looked her and kept going…

If I knew I was dreaming I would of kissed her right there, lol. Just yesterday I had another one where we were in the car together in the backseat and I tried talking to her but something wouldn’t let me. It must of been a 15 minute car ride and we just stared at each other , it seems like she can’t say anything to me either.

This is just two examples out of the more than 100x this has happened with her in my dream. What do you think is the best thing to do? I’m stubborn. If she’s meant to be in my life the universe will have me run into her like it usually does with her, so I feel like I should wait for that.

Do you think she experiences the same dreams?

My Interpretation

The dreams may be about her and having a relationship with her, but only you would know that since that is the second level of dream interpretation where only you have enough to detail to determine that.

At the first level, I think you probably have idealized that early relationship and want to emotionally be the way you were with her when things were good in future relationships. My money is on this is a fantasy about an idealized relationship from the past that your subconscious wants you to learn from so that you learn the lesson and look for the right relationship and act appropriately in the future.

This is based only on the structure of the dream and only you can determine what interpersonal value it has if any. Each character in the dream represents a part of your psyche at the first level with men going with your actions and women going with your emotions.

My thought is there was something about the way you were emotionally with this girl that you were developing that was not finished and you want to emotionally change yourself to find the ideal relationship. As such, in your mind she probably represents an ideal woman or anima. It is a big dream about how you should be in a relationship.

To answer your questions at the end, it is possible she's having dreams about you. If that is the case, I would see it more as a sign that the universe was trying to get the two of you together. I do like your idea that if it was meant to be, the universe will conspire to have the two of you meet again.

Let dreams help you plan your life at http://www.drstevenfox.com

What does a bridge, a river, a door, and a girlfriend not recognizing you, mean in a dream?

Bridging the Gap
Bridging the Gap

Dream 383: The Emotion Just Is Not There

A man had the following dream:

“I’ve been having this recurring dream and i’m not sure what to make of it…Until a few months ago i’ve been in a relationship with this girl and we would meet very rarely since she lives far far away.

In this dream, i’m rushing to a place where we supposedly said we would meet, first in a cab, then on foot. It looks a bit like the park in my city but it’s not quite it. I think it’s autumn time, leaves all around the pavement, few passers-by.

The realisation comes to me that i don’t really know the exact spot where i’m supposed to go… I’m starting to run late and i get a little agitated. Then, starting to cross a bridge over a small stream, I see a door in the middle of it, nothing else, just a door standing there. Somehow the idea that i’m supposed to enter it hits me. “This is the place where people go to find each other” or something similar comes into my mind suddenly.

I enter the door and there’s something like a small waiting room, a clinic or hospital waiting room by the looks of it. There’s light coming from the windows but i can’t see anything outside of it. There are these benches crammed full of people and people leaning against the walls. I think to myself if she’s here i’ll have a hard time finding her.

But i find her right away, and as i’m standing no more than 3 meters away she looks around as if looking for someone, and she keeps looking right passed me as if i’m not really there. I think to myself maybe she didn’t see me, but what if she just changed her mind and she’s just pretending? Should I just go and tap her on the shoulder or walk away? But I go towards her, in spite of having to push aside people passing by… I get nervous and i always wake up. There are always small variations in the dream but it’s mostly the same.”

My Interpretation

A reoccurring dream is usually very significant because it represents a situation where your subconscious has repeatedly tried to solve a situation or problem.

In this dream and in most dreams, a bridge usually represents a major passage in life. Something has materially happened to change your life.

You are crossing over water, a small stream. Water is emotions usually and rivers or streams usually represent the river of life.

This is not a massive river but a small stream. That indicates that you’re trying to bridge the gap over emotions that probably are not there as much as they should be, that it is more important to bridge the gap than it is to make it over massive emotions.

The door probably represents the opening to solving your conflicts over losing her.

A clinic is a place where people come to get healed. Your subconscious seems to see the issue as you getting over her. The emotion again is not there, so she does not recognize you.

You then try to make your way past people to get to her. The dream does not say this outright, but I think it may be hinting that it is time to give up the chase, and to invest yourself in the people you are passing by.

This sounds painful, but is a passage in your life and your challenge is to bridge the gap, and not chase something that emotionally is not there.

Take it for what its worth because this is without knowing you and you should glean what seems to be true to yourself.

Harvest the meaning of your dreams at http:www.drstevenfox.com

What does a young woman and an old lady carrying your girlfriend away mean in a dream?

tmp_6868-illusion-878881958Is this a beautiful young woman or an old lady? It depends upon your point of view.

Dream 350: My Love Gets Carried Away

An adult man dreamed that his girlfriend was being carried away by a young woman and an old lady. Something kept him from being able to reach his girlfriend to stop them from carrying her away.

Interpretation

Each character in the dream can represent a part of the dreamer’s mind. Women tend to go with the dreamers emotions. Young attractive women typically represent beautiful emotions.

An old lady is typically thought of as being a Crone which is an archetype of wisdom in old age and experience. An archetype is a pattern of thought that is repetitive throughout human consciousness. This dream is about how the dreamer’s emotions could get carried away.

He seemingly fears losing a lover after he has invested all of his emotions in her. His greatest fear probably is that this would happen and there was nothing he could do about it. It sounds like he is worried about losing the love of his life.

Get in touch with your emotions with dreams and my book, Dreams: Guide to the Soul at http:www.drstevenfox.com

What does a heart attack mean in a dream?

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Dream 312: You’re Tearing Me Apart

A man in his thirties dreamed that he had a heart attack. Nurses were feverishly trying to revive him with electric paddles.They put one pole of charge on his heart, and mistakenly put the other pole on his hip.

Because when paddle was mistakenly put on his hip, a huge blister developed there. There was so much pressure from the blister that he told the nurses to cut his underwear so that the blister did not burst. The blister took the shape of a heart.

Interpretation

What an interesting dream this is. I’m going to throw out many hypotheses because there’s so many ways these symbols could go in the configuration presented. The only thing that seemed certain was that the dreamer’s feelings had been hurt deeply in some way recently, i.e., it looked like someone had broken the dreamer’s heart.

Nurses are healers. Electricity of course is energy. The hips are near the first chakra and near the genitals. So the configuration of this dream looked like connecting the dreamer’s heart energy with physical desire by mistake led to the dreamer’s feelings being hurt.

Water is emotion. Blisters are full of water that comes from yourself and are a healing reaction to hurt. Having the underwear cut away because of pressure suggests feeling exposed and hurt related to desire somehow.

The blister taking the shape of a heart reinforces the feeling of being hurt emotionally. There were so many ways the details of this dream could be interpreted depending on circumstances. There were many questions that could be posed.

For instance, were nurses actually involved in some way? Did the dreamer’s beloved die of illness? Was his being hurt related to sex or to a sexual relationship in some way?

These were all very invasive questions, but I felt like the meaning of this dream would become fairly obvious if we knew the details which only the dreamer knew for sure.

Feedback

After hearing the above interpretation, the dreamer told me his girlfriend was a nurse. They were going through a painful separation. She was physically ill.

She was pushing him away. She did not think she could give him everything he needed in a relationship. Her misgivings eventually led to the separation. The dreamer felt that the interpretation fit the situation.

What does a baby mean in a dream?

What's new is your life?
What’s new in your life?

Dream Answer 298: Babies are almost always good news in dreams. They typically signal new growth in the dreamer of either new emotional (girl babies) or new behavior (boy babies). The following dream indicated new emotional growth:

An adult woman dreamed that she saw a spirit (baby-like) floating up in the corner of her bedroom near the ceiling. She staring at it trying to figure out what to do when her chihuahua, who was also looking at it, turned to her and said “you see it, just speak to it”. So she asked “who are you” and it materialized into a flower (like a daisy) against her wall.

Interpretation

Each person or creature in a dream is a part of the dreamer’s psyche at the first level. Females tend to go with emotions. Males tend to be associated with behavior. A baby represents a new part of the mind/psyche.

Floating or flying typically takes on spiritual meaning. Floating indicates usually an activated energy that is hanging above the dreamer. The emotional change that the new female baby portends is likely to happen soon when it is floating which is a peaceful and serene form of flying.

Dogs typically go with the dreamer’s affections and are associated with loyalty and protection. The dog gives you advice in the sense of urging you to speak to activate this new emotional part of you. Specifically, the dreamer was urged to speak directly about what she sees going on to others (“you see it, just speak it”).

The baby turning into a flower indicated that her new emotional growth was beautiful. The flower went against her “wall” which indicated she was going to be less defensive. The new emotional growth on the verge of entering the dreamer’s life was that she was becoming less defensive by speaking out directly about what she sees going on. She was being urged to be less defensive and to be more assertive. The dream wanted her to speak her truth.

Find your truth with the help of dreams at http://www.drstevenfox.com

What does a house mean in a dream?

At home with yourself
A House Can Be the Dreamer to Some Extent

Dream Answer 296

A house can represent the dreamer to some extent because it is the framework out of which one lives. This is especially the case if it was a house in which the dreamer once lived.

The ages the dreamer was when living in the house (from birth to five years old, from age 12 to 16 years old, etc.) is important. There is something about the dreamer’s present psychodynamics that is situationally similar to the dreamer’s earlier psychodynamics at a specific developmental stage reflected in the dream.

The different areas of the house correspond roughly to different areas of the dreamer’s life. Mental or intellectual processes are associated with the upper floors or roof. An open roof may be a comment on how open minded the dreamer’s mind is, how the dreamer does not protect his thoughts efficiently, or how incomplete and unfinished his or her thoughts are in the sense of being “under construction.”

The family room may be demonstrating family dynamics. The dining room can be associated with how people in the home nurture one another. The garage can represent how people plan to move within their lives.

The living room represents the dreamer’s living space in her life. The kitchen can stand for his creativity since the cook prepares nurturing and creative combinations of food in the kitchen. The subterranean basement can often be a sign of the subconscious because it underlies the reality of the dreamer’s life.

Buildings can signal different portions of the dreamer’s life. Resorts may represent the dreamer’s recreational life or may simply be a “last resort.” Skyscrapers indicate cosmopolitan interests.

Farms may represent ingrained hard work values or bucolic serenity. Universities and, in particular, high schools usually indicate what the dreamer needs to learn in life. Dreams cannot resist using “high school” as a place for your “higher self” to learn.

Dreams cannot resist the metaphor of trains and train stations as a place where you “get your life on track.” Terminals frequently mean where you want to get to in life before you die (before your life is terminated). Airports often signal movement toward higher or spiritual goals in the dreamer’s life.

Shopping malls are frequent in dreams. Dreams cannot resist the play upon words. Dreams often use shopping malls to show how the dreamer has been “mauled” (malled?) in life usually in the person’s career or business life as a shopping mall is a commercial community.

Apartments often suggest only a part, and probably a transitional part, is going to be addressed in the dream. The setting of the dream is almost always important, especially the initial setting. The opening scene often signals what the dream is going to be about. The setting shows the field or area of the dreamer’s life where the subconscious psychodynamics are going to be played out. The above meanings should be seen as tentative hypotheses that the dreamer can confirm or give additional information about.

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The Right and Left Stairways

stairs

Dreams 289: A man in his early forties dreamed that he was talking to some girls when he was in high school in New York. It was very casual and relaxed conversation in a restaurant located at the top of a mansion. When he left, he found himself at the top of stairs on a landing where there was a stairway to his right and there was a stairway to his left.

He went down the left stairway and knew somehow that he had to use a phone. He then went down the right stairway and found a woman that looked like his wife. She was pretty and looked like his wife. He thought she looked depressed as she was leaning forward on her arms with her forearms resting on the table. He then saw the girls he was talking to earlier pass by in the distance.

Interpretation

This dream is all about communication with his wife. Stairs invariably represent sex because it is a rhthymic activity that ends in a climax. The left tends to be associated in ancient India with subconscious emotions, while the right usually represents conscious activity. The dream is emphasizing the importance of communication in their sex life.

Restaurants are where people are physically and psychologically nourished. The dream is saying that there was something about the way he communicated with those girls in New York that would be useful in his marriage, that there was something about that type of communication that would be especially nourishing in his marriage.

Movement in this dream is down stairways because their sex life was a “downer.” Movement down the left involves emotion. A phone is at the bottom of this stairway to emphasize the importance of communication.

The right is associated with conscious action. In this case, his depressed wife at the bottom of these stairs represented disappointment over the lack of sexual action, intimacy, in his marriage. The dream ends by recommending interaction with his wife like he had with the New York girls that pass in the distance.

Find your way with the help of dreams at http://www.drstevenfox.com

The Fur Flies

Emotional Cat Fight
Emotional Cat Fight

Dream 285: A woman dreamt said she saw a huge wave of water crashing into a building. Then she saw she two cats fighting. The fur was flying and the fight was vicious. At least one of the cats was black and white.

Interpretation
Water in dreams is virtually always emotion. Buildings in dreams can represent the dreamer because it is a framework out of which the dreamer operates. Family pets usually represent affections. Dogs often represent male affections or loyalty. Cats typically signal female affection or sensuality.

Each creature in the dream is seen as part of the dreamer’s mind at the first level of dream interpretation. Black and white colors typically stand for opposing feelings or good vs bad. The dream is saying that she has been hit by a wave of emotion that has led to a cat fight amongst her affections.

To know the details of what these affections were for, we would have to go to the second level or interpersonal level of dream interpretation where information from the dreamer is vital. Usually only the dreamer has enough information of the details to specify what content the symbolic conflict amongst her emotions or affections is about. I would speculate that it may have to do with her emotions toward some unspecified women because of the cats engaging in the classic “cat fight.”

Dreams can help you figure out your conflicts at http://www.drstevenfox.com

Dreams: Guide to the Soul

Dreams-Guide-To-The-Soul-Kindle-Thumbnail--800-px (3)

This book shows how an experienced psychologist developed an intuitive dream interpretation method.

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20160810_125921 Steven G. Fox, Ph.D. Is the author of “Dreams: Guide to the Soul”

I am finishing my personal story and sojourn to health by putting MS into remission with the help of the universe/God. It will be my second book showing that dreams were an important part of that journey. My personal psychology enters into the picture a lot. I basically see years of physical abuse as laying the foundation for having the foundation for contracting the chronic illness of multiple sclerosis. Amazon will publish it first as an ebook. The name of the book will be something like MS Mission Remission: Healing Severe Chronic Multiple Sclerosis Against All Odds.

The Love Triangle

images(19)146147910Dream 229: Three’s a Crowd  

A 19-year-old man dreamt an image of an apartment. The single enclosed bathroom was in the middle of the apartment. The rest of the apartment was vague and indistinct except featured prominently were a urinal and a toilet in the open.

Dream 229—Interpretation

He lived with his girlfriend in an apartment where a former lover supposedly now turned just-a-roommate also lived. His girlfriend was consistent in her stance that any sign of a former love relationship with her old boyfriend was nonexistent in her mind; however, it was clear to the dreamer that the old boyfriend still loved the woman.

Urinals and toilets get rid of toxic waste we no longer need and must eliminate. Dreams metaphorically use toilets and urinals as a sign that toxic emotions (water is invariably emotions in dreams) and other toxic stuff (euphemism) needs to be eliminated from the dreamer’s life. There is more emphasis on negative emotions being discarded because a urinal is used only to get rid of waste water (it is uncommon to see urinals outside of healthcare or commercial establishments).

It is an interesting side note that the dreamer and girlfriend had no trouble sharing a bathroom and being quite “open” about it. Her old boyfriend was adamant about keeping the bathroom private which is why the dream isolates and encloses one of the toilets.

This dream was interpreted using the principles from my book at http://www.drstevenfox.com

 

 

 

Don’t Be a Hero


Dream 199: Might as Well Face It You’re Addicted to Love

Heroine on Heroin
Heroine on Heroin

A 24-year-old male dreamt that he was giving his brother shots of heroin in the leg to prevent his brother from having extreme withdrawal symptoms.

Dream 198 Interpretation

I aked him whether he was having trouble with a girlfriend. He indicated that he recently broke up with a woman who was having addiction to drug problems. The fact that the way many people pronounce heroin as “heroine” was a major clue. You are entering the world of fantastic ideation in dreams where clang associations and extreme concreteness paradoxically exist in the same space as spiritual desires.

I asked him what his brother’s personality was like. His brother was the embodiment of the heroic masculine archetype, always helping and protecting those he loved. The dreamer’s desire was to save the beautiful now ex-girlfriend. The dream, like most dreams, is perfect in the sense that while the girlfriend was addicted to drugs, the dreamer was addicted to the girlfriend.

He literally went through withdrawal breaking up with the girlfriend as he was focused on saving her. It is notable that the sound of the word heroin (heroine) clued this dream interpreter in to the idea that the heroic masculine was probably involved. In the dream he is literally trying to spare his own heroic masculine from experiencing withdrawal symptoms from the dreamer’s addiction to the drug addicted girlfriend. Legs in a dream involve the issue of support as legs support us physically. The dream was urging him to withdraw his support from the substance plagued girlfriend.