Why am I constantly dreaming about a girl I loved since I was 12 years old?

Looking for Emotion From the Past
Looking for Emotion From the Past

Dream 385: I Want to Recapture How I Was Emotionally in My First Relationship with a Girl

When I was 12 I fell in love with a girl at first sight(right when I looked in her eyes) , and her dad was the first one to teach me how to kick a soccer ball when I was just 7(I’m really good, could play pro if I want ). She has a lot of reason why I am spiritual and pay attention to my dreams. Problem is when I was in high school, we would fight and I would ignore her and not look at her. We aren’t really on talking terms like we were when I was younger and I don’t follow her on social media.

The reason I bring this up is because she has been in my dreams all the time, and 90% of the time I can’t look at her or talk to her. Other 10% is amazing (dancing, doing things together , kissing etc) but 90% of the time she’ll be in my dream and won’t be able to look at her. I want to look at her and kiss her, but in my dreams I feel like I have subconsciously put it in there that I can’t speak or talk to her.

Just recently I was in my dreams teaching a yoga class with just two other people and she showed up to do the class and while I was doing the yoga poses she was doing them too and we were looking at each other but neither of us could say anything to each other. She was sort of looking at me funny snd i just looked her and kept going…

If I knew I was dreaming I would of kissed her right there, lol. Just yesterday I had another one where we were in the car together in the backseat and I tried talking to her but something wouldn’t let me. It must of been a 15 minute car ride and we just stared at each other , it seems like she can’t say anything to me either.

This is just two examples out of the more than 100x this has happened with her in my dream. What do you think is the best thing to do? I’m stubborn. If she’s meant to be in my life the universe will have me run into her like it usually does with her, so I feel like I should wait for that.

Do you think she experiences the same dreams?

My Interpretation

The dreams may be about her and having a relationship with her, but only you would know that since that is the second level of dream interpretation where only you have enough to detail to determine that.

At the first level, I think you probably have idealized that early relationship and want to emotionally be the way you were with her when things were good in future relationships. My money is on this is a fantasy about an idealized relationship from the past that your subconscious wants you to learn from so that you learn the lesson and look for the right relationship and act appropriately in the future.

This is based only on the structure of the dream and only you can determine what interpersonal value it has if any. Each character in the dream represents a part of your psyche at the first level with men going with your actions and women going with your emotions.

My thought is there was something about the way you were emotionally with this girl that you were developing that was not finished and you want to emotionally change yourself to find the ideal relationship. As such, in your mind she probably represents an ideal woman or anima. It is a big dream about how you should be in a relationship.

To answer your questions at the end, it is possible she's having dreams about you. If that is the case, I would see it more as a sign that the universe was trying to get the two of you together. I do like your idea that if it was meant to be, the universe will conspire to have the two of you meet again.

Let dreams help you plan your life at http://www.drstevenfox.com

Published by Steven G. Fox Ph.D.

Psychologist and author of "Dreams: Guide to the Soul" & "Multiple Sclerosis Mission Remission" http://www.drstevenfox.com This first book of mine shows how I developed an intuitive dream interpretation method through clinical psychologist private practice and Jungian theory. The book is titled "Dreams: Guide to the Soul." It is available at http://www.drstevenfox.com I wrote my second book in 2018. The second book describes my miracle MS remission, and is called "Multiple Sclerosis Mission Remission: Healing MS Against All Odds." It is available at amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Multiple-Sclerosis-Mission-Remission-Healing-ebook/dp/B07D7JBZ5L/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1529367853&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=multiple+sclerosis+Mission+remission

2 thoughts on “Why am I constantly dreaming about a girl I loved since I was 12 years old?

  1. Not to take away from the interpretation already given, I found my way here through connection via facebook and I’ve dealt with this dream scenario before so I’d like to share my personal perspective. I hope the Dr won’t take this as a sign of disrespect, none is intended.

    Symbolically, “women” corresponds to the passive principle of nature and has three basic aspects
    -As a siren, lamia, or monstrous being who enchants, diverts, and entices man away from the path of evolution
    -As the mother, or ‘Magna Mater’ (the motherland, the city or mother-nature) related in turn to the formless aspect of the waters and the unconscious
    -As the unknown damsel, the beloved or the anima

    It’s pertinent to realize that your ex girlfriend was a projection of your anima out into the external world of perception. Seeing her in your dreams is, basically, a way for your anima/soul to show you your interaction with her/(your anima/soul)

    My understanding of the human experience is that we are a unit of conscious energy that is comprised of two halves, the anima/soul and the corpus/body, guided by the Animus/Spirit/Intelligence. One resides “inside” and the other “outside” (The perspective shifts depending on which sector you’re looking from). In this half of the universe, our consciousness resides inside the body/corpus and observes and codifies the external world. In the other “unseen” half of the universe, our consciousness resides on the outside and observes the internal world (the anima/soul). Here, we primarily use the thinking function to understand the experience. “There” we primarily use the feeling function.

    I interpret your dream experience to be a reflection of your relationship with your internal world. You are ignoring your feeling self. You want to bridge the communications gap but you find this difficult. You want to be intimate with your Yin aspect, but the two of you only watch each other from a distance. Since you’re a spiritual person and into Yoga, I suggest taking these things into meditative consideration. Focus on your heart chakra. Find your way into your self, get in touch with your feelings, and it’s likely that you’ll find yourself talking to the ex in your dreams soon.

    Good luck!

    1. I believe your analysis says much the same thing as mine only it elucidates it in more theoretical terms that emphasizes his intra-psychic processes. I believe your recommendations are good and agree with the idea that he wants to continue emotional development he originally started when he was younger.

      My book includes and leans toward Carl Jung interpretation; however, I tried to make these ideas as practical as possible so that the average person could understand and use the interpretation without having years of study of Jungian analysis as you have.

      I love your, what I would call, “flying in the theory” regarding Jung; however, such theoretical insight has to be grounded in body-based emotion, which you succeed in doing for the reader near the end of your analysis. All my best, Dr. Fox

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